Addictions and Admissions

Yes, the Perfectionista has them. And she's not very good at admitting her weaknesses. Actually, she's pretty bad at it. Today, we're going to focus on one. Let's call it "chocolate," shall we?

I'm addicted to "chocolate." That hasn't always been the case, and we're not talking huge quantities...but quality is what matters, right? And I didn't realize it until I recently tried to give it up. The more I tried to let it go, the more I wanted it. The bond I've developed with it became much stronger than I thought possible. In hindsight, I totally denied that I loved it. I denied that it had me hooked. Denied that I had little to no self control around it. Darn cocoa!!!

It made me feel soooooo good.  It was there when I had a bad day. It made me feel even better when I was having a great day. It's sweet. It came between me and a lot of things...because I chose it over things that were presumably "better for me" by some standards.

I've been denying the true strength of "chocolate" in my life. I haven't been honest with myself about that, and I guess, the fact that I'm not so perfect after all...

So, here's the plan, oh faithful Perfectionista followers.

I'm breaking my addiction. Whenever I think about "chocolate" or daydream about it, or look for how I might be able to encounter it subtly in a recipe or in the health food store someplace, whenever I crave it...I'm going to do sit-ups. Of course, this starts later tonight...I'm obviously thinking about it now, but I have to type! I figure if anything, I should have rockin' abs in a few weeks...and probably some embarrassing moments in a skirt and heels at the office!

And, even more important, the Perfectionista is going to be true to herself. Someone who cared enough to let me in once said, "I'm not perfect; I'm human." I'm going to keep striving to get as close to perfect as possible, but perfect in my eyes - not someone else's. That means that you may get a glimpse of how I try to turn the challenges that the Perfectionista image faces into a real life that she can live with and love, despite the slightly tarnished little halo. So be it. I'm human, too. And if I sneak a nibble of "chocolate" here and there...don't judge. Grab yourself a piece and join me!

I'm so very sorry, my sweet addiction. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I'm going to try my best to let you go. I'm not good at letting go...but I'm going to try. And I guarantee I'll make mistakes. I'll slip up. And yes, I'll blog about it. But no matter what, you will always know how I feel...